The end of an era

Emmett left us.

Things have been rough, but that's come to sort of be the state of the household, with the financial pressures and the like, so I was completely unprepared.

Christmas was difficult due to the fact that I had been having a hormonal imbalance that was triggering my depression and making me very angry and unhappy. Apparently, after a rough Christmas Emmett decided he had had enough. He went out and found an apartment and signed a lease. On New Year's Eve we had our traditional lobster dinner and champagne and watched the ball drop together. At 12:02 Emmett told me he was moving. He had signed a lease on a new place and would be leaving on Sunday (today).

And so it has come to pass. Today he packed his things and got a UHaul and moved out of our home.

I'm not ready to write about this from an emotional standpoint. I am okay, though some moments I don't feel okay. I think I have cried a river, but I have, amazingly given my past history, managed to retain control of my emotions and not completely lose control and that has helped to bolster my self esteem. I am trying very hard to be strong for Thomas, but I'm sure I'll need some help to get myself healthy before I can really do what's best for Thomas.

It's all very overwhelming, but I am committed to getting and keeping myself healthy so that I can make this as easy as possible for Tommy.

It may be a while before I write again. I hope everyone has had a blessed holiday season. I feel blessed to have my beautiful and healthy little boy and to have thus far managed to weather this storm with my self respect and self esteem intact.

Love,
Melissa