Breastfeeding Rant

Okay, I'm off on a tangent today...but this is something that I want to write about because it really bothers me. I am so SICK AND TIRED of the attitude the people have about breastfeeding - basically that you MUST breastfeed or risk feeling incredibly guilty and/or inferior about it. I think the Bay Area is a lot worse about this than the rest of the country but I am disgusted by the pressure and cattiness even that fellow mothers that should be supporting each other show when breastfeeding comes up.

If you've been living on Planet Earth for the past 20-25 years or so you know that breast milk is best, does anyone need to hear it again (and again and again and again)??? Most women will try to breastfeed their children when they are born. But guess what? Breastfeeding is not all that easy - it's amazing how many people struggle with milk supply, getting the baby to latch, etc. etc. For some women, believe it or not, they just don't enjoy the experience. Why should we have to force ourselves to breastfeed and make ourselves unhappy to please a society that insists on breastfeeding when there are other options available to us in this country and in this day and age? Honestly, I think formula fed babies grow up and do fine - it's not like you can look at a baby and point out the ones who are formula fed versus breastfed. Why can't we just let people make the best decision for their family and support them and help them feel good about it???

This started today because of a posting on the Silicon Valley parents of multiples group that I belong to. The first poster said this:

"I'm sure at least one person has done their research to figure who has the best prices for formula. I'm currently looking for soy formula but may switch if the doctor gives the okay to do so. I'm also interested in the higher calorie formula but haven't found a soy one yet.

I'm interested in both in-store and online price breakdowns.

Thanks!"

Okay, simple enough. But this was one of the responses:

"I am not using formula anymore, but when my twins were premies the NICU had
us mix the formula in a higher ratio to increase the calories per feeding. I
am sure you could do that with any other formula as well. Just ask your
doctor for the ratio. Just a warning it was hard to make, since it does not
dissolve as easily and I was happy when the doctor finally let me stop
feeding formula.
As for prices, I am nursing though I am not a good resource for that."

Perhaps I'm just too sensitive, but the original poster asked a simple question AND she's looking to save some money on formula so she's probably already made the decision to formula feed. The responder doesn't have anything useful to add about how to save money on formula and, while she's at it, manages to mention THREE TIMES about how she's breastfeeding and not using any formula. Don't get me wrong, my hats off to her because breastfeeding twins (as I've discovered) is incredibly difficult, but I think it's terrible to rub that in someone's face who is obviously not breastfeeding and that's exactly how this post comes off. I've got a newsflash for this person: YOU ARE NOT A BETTER MOTHER BECAUSE YOU ARE BREASTFEEDING!!!!! Yes, it's nice that you are providing your child with breast milk - but I'm here to tell you, sister, there are a lot more important things you're going to have to give your child over their lifetime than a little breast milk so get on down off your high horse and realize that we are all in the trenches her together and the world would be a much better place if we'd learn to support each other and the right that each of us has to determine what is best for ourselves, our baby, and our family as a whole.

This rant is not about me personally - I'm still working on breastfeeding and am fine with pumping some and breastfeeding some. I just hate the thought of someone having to feel bad as a new mother about the decision not to breast feed. No one should have to made to feel bad about their decisions and it makes me furious when I see someone saying something that can do nothing but make the other person feel bad.

Okay, enough ranting. I could go on and on about this, but I'm going to stop because I have to go pump. HA

Liliana Smiling

She may not be the most photogenic of my babies at this age, but she sure is the happiest. :-)
For some reason, though, she is very hard to photograph - it took a whole bunch of shots to get a couple, even though she was in a great mood this morning. I also tried to get a photo of Thomas and Lillie together and smiling, but I couldn't catch her at the right moment - Thomas is a bit rough (being a typical just-turned-six-year-old) and she doesn't smile much when he is handling her - but she has smiled at him when he's interacting with her without picking her up. Of course, he loved it and now says that she is his favorite of the babies.

Well, here's a couple more and then I'd better go- it's almost midnight and I haven't eaten dinner. Thank heavens Emmett is due back tomorrow evening - can't wait!!

The Many Faces of Liam

So far so good - Emmett is in D.C. again for work and this time (knock on wood) things are going much more smoothly than the last time. I hired a very experienced twin babysitter/nanny who is coming in the evenings so that I can catch my breath, go grocery shopping, or, like tonight, spend a little 1:1 time with Thomas, who has been having an especially rough week. (He's been acting out a lot and I think it's being home from all his travels with his grandparents and having to share the attention.) I feel really lucky to have found this babysitter. Her name is Melissa (as if we didn't already have so many Melissas in our lives haha), and she is from Michigan - Emmett thought this was a reason that I liked her, but I swear I didn't know until she was already at the interview! Anyway, she has quite a bit of twin experience, has been a live in nanny for a couple of families, is the daughter of a daycare owner, is a postpartum doula, and is training to be a lactation educator. Whew! Needless to say, she is pretty capable and I feel very comfortable leaving her with the babies while I get some time away. This was tougher than I imagined, the twin experience is such that I feel a greater need to get away - also probably because this time with Emmett working and traveling for work, I'm a lot more of the primary caregiver than I was with Thomas. In any case, I both feel a great need to get some downtime, but also feel nervous about leaving them with a sitter this soon. I never felt this way with Thomas, mostly because I was so unsure of myself as a mother that I figured anyone that babysat for a living would be more qualified than I was...I was SO new to babies when Thomas was born. I think I'll probably be an old pro by the time these babies aren't babies anymore HAHA.

Oh, but I am digressing...I should have used my time with the babysitter to take a nap instead of taking Thomas to Fresh Choice, but I couldn't stand to let him down, so now my eyes are burning from lack of sleep and I'm not entirely sure any of this will make sense when I read it later, but I've got another 25 minutes before my last pumping of the evening.

Well, we've hit a very fun milestone...we are getting real smiles from both babies! I think their inherent personalities dictate that we tend to get a lot more smiles from Lillie than we do from Liam, but for whatever crazy reason I haven't managed to get a good photo of Lillie smiling yet. She has such an amazing smile, it really lights up her whole face. I am going to really try to get a photo because I want so much to be able to share her beautiful smile with everyone. Liam is a little more of a serious type to begin with and his smiles, while gorgeous, are softer than her big cheesy grins.

I did, however, get some good photos of Liam on July 22nd. I got some smiles and also some of his most common facial expressions. So here they are - enjoy!





My beautiful boy with his sweet smile...


Liam has a very intense stare, we call it his "penetrating gaze"
Last, but not least, Liam frowns a lot...I hope it just means that he has amazing powers of concentration, haha

Liliana

I have to make this very quick, no time for writing much...these little ones keep me hopping!

One quick note...we had all three of our children baptized on July 5th at St. Brendan's. It was a great day with friends and family. My Mom and Jerry, Henry and Sara, Desmond, Brian and Sherri, and Emmett's Mom. Emmett's Mom prepared a wonderful luncheon afterwards of chicken Caesar salad, deviled eggs, rolls, delicious melon and finger sandwiches. Yummy! Emmett picked up a special cake from Lido's which was excellent except that the baker misspelled Liliana's name and the word "Christening" - ohhhh well.

Uh oh - Liam is starting to stir and I haven't had a shower yet...I better run.

Oh yes, the main thing I wanted to do was post a slightly better picture of Miss Lillie...she is not particularly photogenic thus far, I must admit, but I think this is slightly better than the last one.


Hopefully I'll get to post the baptism pics this weekend.

Love,
Melissa