Merry Christmas

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

I am, of course, here at work. I did NOT miss that about working in a hospital - working holidays. At least I will get off work today at 4pm and not come back until 8pm tomorrow. Hopefully next year I will be able to get off completely. Better yet, let's hope (and pray) that my business completely takes off and I'm able to quit sometime this year!

In the meantime I want to use this entry to give thanks to God for so many blessings that I've had. Thank you for the generally good health that my family has enjoyed this year. Thank you for the blessings that I have in my friends and family who have been so loving and supportive. Thank you for giving me the strength to weather what have been so very difficult moments this past year. And Thank You most of all for the incredible blessing that You gave me in my precious little boy who lights up my world and melts my heart every single day.

Tommy has been enjoying the season so much this year. He LOVES Christmas lights (I know I've mentioned this before). Perhaps this evening we should all take a walk around the neighborhood and look at the lights. I think he would like that. The other thing he loves so much is snowmen. Yesterday Emmett's Mom watched him while I was sleeping - oh, I needed the sleep SO badly - I was awake for 28 hours straight. Anyway, they seemed to have fun. They went to the park and played and they did some drawing together. I forgot to ask how they did with the potty training. Overall he's doing great. Right now I working a little bit on getting him to go to the bathroom by himself. Right now he tells me and we go together to the bathroom. The problem with this is that he has started using it occasionally to get my attention when I'm doing something else. He will tell me he has to go potty even when he doesn't because he knows I'll drop whatever I'm doing and go with him to the bathroom. The kid is too smart for his own good. Emmett's Mom is concerned that he's going to be bored in school and end up having behavior problems. He has these flashcards and I was testing him. He knows about 16 out of the 26 letters of the alphabet on sight without any kind of prompting. I was making these ornaments for gifts and putting the year on them. He picked up one of them and started reading off what it said - two, oh, oh, four. I was really surprised that he knew numbers on sight since we've never worked on that!!

He also is saying words with more syllables - he says "delicious" and a couple of other ones that I won't remember until I finish this. He started parroting my mother when we were visiting and saying "Oh...My...Gosh" when something unusual happens and he is still doing this. It is hilarious. I MUST get out the camcorder tonight.

He loves music so much. For months now he has insisted on having the radio on when we are driving anywhere ("Song! Song! Song!"). Well, now he is starting to sing along with the tapes once we have listened to them a few times. So there's this tape that my friend Doug recorded for me years ago and it's got some great stuff on it: the Eagles, Robert Earl Keen, the Indigo Girls, Barenaked Ladies, Leonard Cohen, etc. etc. Anyway, there's this song that I love called "Hallelujah" and the chorus is that word repeated 4-5 times. After he had heard the song a couple of times he started singing the chorus - it was soooo cute hearing him back there trying to say the word "Hallelujah" - it usually comes out sounding more like "loo-lah" - you can't hear the first part and he says "lah" instead of "yah".

Updates and such

It's a slow night here at work (Thank God) for a change and so I have a few minutes to catch up a bit.
Emmett's sister, niece and niece's friend left this morning to go back to Santa Barbara. We had a really nice visit, I just wish I hadn't had to work almost the whole time. I really enjoy Emmett's sister, she's the most mellow one in the clan - they are a pretty intense group. I always have to be a bit careful because a lot of times they don't get my sense of humor. They all have a tendency to take things pretty seriously and I, of course, don't take much of anything very seriously - well, most of the time I don't. Laughter and Anger are my two coping mechanisms and I use them both liberally haha. Anyway, J. is the most mellow of the group and very kind, thoughtful, and into psychoanalysis. She reads a lot of those kind of books, so I'm always interested in the theories that she's read about. Her daughter, whom Tommy calls "Na", is just a wonderful girl. So many kids these days when they hit 11, 12, or 13 can be pretty difficult, but Na is a great girl. The last two times they have come to visit she has asked to bring a friend, she's at the age - I remember it so well, and her friends are just as nice as she is, what a breath of fresh air with so many girls that act badly and/or try to be women when they are that age, to have these two girls in your house that are polite, respectful and not trying to be anything other than themselves. I only hope we get half that lucky with Thomas and any other children we may have.

Tommy is doing awesome! He's showing some interesting emotional development. I don't know if I mentioned before that he has started showing fear. It's so sad but sort of cute. The first time he saw the movie Dinosaurs back in October he enjoyed it but lost interest after a while, but now he squirms and gets scared at parts and won't watch. Emmett and J. took the kids to see the Lemony Snicket movie and apparently it was too scary for Tommy. He was trying to watch it but got scared every time Jim Carrey came onscreen and Emmett would have to hold him or walk around with him. It's funny to see him actually have these emotional reactions for the first time.

The next thing that he has started doing is showing sadness when people leave. I guess it's probably more accurate to say that we are understanding him when he communicates his emotions, because we don't know how long he has been having them. Anyway, today when J., Na and Na's friend K. left and we came in the house after waving goodbye, he plunked down on the floor and started crying. I picked him up and was comforting him and he starting saying, "Where did Nee-nee go? (that's what he calls J.)" "Where did Na go?" and then looking so sad with his lip stuck out. It was very sad but also a breakthrough of sorts. Of course, he's still Tommy so he forgot about it like 2 minutes later.

We have been working on the whole Santa Claus thing the last couple of weeks, but I don't think he has much grasp on the concept. He LOVES the Christmas tree this year and all the ornaments, it's very cool.

Well, it got a little busier here at the end at work. It's 2am now and I have to be at my other job by 8:30 tomorrow morning. Ugh. This two jobs thing is for the birds. But I think I'll learn a lot if I can stick it out just for a little while.

I gotta run - so little sleep now that I need to get home and grab it while I can.

Love,
Melissa

Quick Blurb

I need to make this super short. Part of my overall life improvement plan is about discipline and so I promised myself I'm going to set guidelines for myself and stick to them and part of that is getting my buns to bed tonight.

First, I started a new job. I'm still at the hospital, I just added another job to the picture. It's going to be exhausting for the short term, but hopefully will get us started down the right road for getting our money picture back in order.

The other thing about the job - and here' s the exciting part - it's going to help me learn what I need to know to start my own business! I've been dying to have my own business again, only doing something this time that I can be proud of. I really enjoy it, I love tracking the marketing stuff, what works and what doesn't work (sometimes it surprises you!). I'm feeling really good about this. I'm going to save up my extra money from the other job for the next month and invest it into my business and see if I can make it work. I'd love to be able to quit the hospital by this time next year so that I don't have to work so many holidays! This year I'm working Christmas Eve 8am-4pm, and then Christmas Day 8pm-8am. I get New Year's off (big deal) and then go to work at midnight on new year's day - at least that one won't really matter and I'll get time and a half for it, but it still sucks to be working so much during the holidays. When I worked at Perfect we got the whole week off between Christmas and New Years, so I got a little spoiled.

Tommy is doing great! More sentences! We are struggling a bit on the potty training now that we're back home and he's not doing well with it at daycare at all. It's frustrating, but I'm happy that we've come as far as we have so far.

He is CRAZY about the Christmas lights in the neighborhood - he always wants to go and "ride car" and look at Christmas lights. So cute.

Well, I'm going to keep my promise to myself and sign off now.

Hope all is well with everyone. I will try to write again soon - but am going crazy with Christmas shopping and now working two jobs. Ugh!! Oh yes, and Emmett's sister and niece are here for a few days right now so I had to make this house presentable for the visit and that was no small task hahaha

Love,
Melissa

Financial Resolutions

Well, I guess I'll start with my usual laments. My job is frustrating - the worst is over and things are definitely improving, but mentally I think I'm just ready to move on to something a little more challenging - or maybe just something new and different. I don't know. I just have a general feeling of discontentment, sort of vague. I guess it's a kind of boredom.
What kind of person am I? I don't function well in a "normal life" - I get bored so quickly and easily. On the other hand, I didn't much enjoy the emotional drama/pain that went along with having a more "exciting" life. So what's a girl to do?
Well, first and foremost I need to make some dramatic changes where my financial discipline is concerned. I have learned one thing in my 33 years and that's that you don't get ANYWHERE when you live on the margin, paycheck to paycheck every month. I've been trying to make changes, but there is just too much month left over and then end of every paycheck haha. The thing is no matter how small an amount, you HAVE to put something in savings every month. I know that when we have a little extra $$, both Emmett and I have a tendency to relax a little bit and waste money. It's like this never-ending cycle of "oh my God we don't have enough money for gas and groceries" and then "whew, we have money again. NOW I can go out and buy for Tommy". That's the thing about having a child. It's natural to want to spoil them and give them everything. And then when I go to other parent's houses I look at all their stuff and it ends up being a "keeping up with the Jones's". I never thought I would be like that, but guess what? I am. But I think the thing that I realize is that providing Thomas with a financially stable home and having the money to send him to college is going to be much more beneficial than any stupid toy that I buy for him now that he plays with for 15 seconds and then throws away. The stress of living so close to the edge financially is so much more detrimental than the benefit of having a room full of toys right now. Especially right now when he doesn't have ANY concept of what other people have.
It's not that I spend an enormous amount of money on these things. I buy ALL of his clothes on EBay or at Salvation Army. Most of the toys I've bought for him I bought with gift certificates that were purchased for him or in secondhand stores. But even that adds up after a while. If I spend $30/month on second hand clothes, that's $30/month I could have been saving. If I find another $30/month to save, well, that's $60 and after 1 year that's $720. That $720 would have been wonderful to have right now when I took 10 days off work to go to Florida and am missing almost exactly that amount from my pay, which has resulted in my having to spend my Christmas money gifts buying presents for other people. Not that that's a total sacrifice, I mean, Christmas IS about giving, but I'd by lying if I said it wasn't a bummer that I'm not going to get anything cool under the tree to unwrap. Selfish, I know, but at least I'm honest.
The reality is that right now our income and expenses don't leave much room for mistakes so it's not like we're going to get a huge savings account tomorrow. But bit by bit if we put small amounts away every month, things WILL improve.
I just look at the people I know that are financially secure and they are so much more relaxed and happy about life. There is a worn, haggardness that goes along with the constant strain of worrying about money. I also look at those examples - I have friends who made nearly twice what we make and were living in a very small two bedroom house in an average neighborhood and paying about 25% less rent than we are. They saved a huge amount of money and now money is not a huge object for them.
I've been thinking a lot about moving and we would love to pay less rent than what we do ($2000 per month is just such an ENORMOUS amount of money going out every month, especially when you add in the $500-$800 that we have in childcare expenses). The thing is, though, that I've learned that I have to change the way that I look at money and my discipline where money is concerned before taking that step. Twice I've moved into a lesser-rent situation in order to save money and ended up peeing away all the extra money and ending up no better off than I was to start with.
We have gotten some information about possibly buying a house. There is program where we can buy a house right now and a nonprofit organization will purchase the home, make the down payment, pay closing costs and secure reasonable interest financing. We would then pay rent to the non-profit for up to 39 months while we clean up our credit so that we can qualify for that same mortgage at that same fixed rate. It sounds really awesome, but the payments would be really huge. To buy a home for $450K, which is not a whole lot of house out here, I have to say, is $3000 per month. That's way more than what we can afford right now. But it's definitely a consideration. At least by the time we had to send Thomas to school we would have the tax advantage and also some equity if we wanted to sell out. Something to think about.
Well, the shift is over. Time for sleeping!
Love,Melissa

Potty Training, Part 3 (?)

Well we are back from Florida. I need to make this a quick one - I have been really out of control of my computer addiction lately. I need to step away from the computer and focus on what's going on around me.

Anyway, as I said, I need to make this quick because Emmett went upstairs to bed and I don't want him to fall asleep before I get there. It's better if we have a few minutes to chat at the end of the day and I think it makes for a healthier relationship overall. It is challenging sometimes because he likes to go to bed fairly early and I'm a night person by nature.

So - I'll report primarily on our progress with potty training. We made a lot of progress while we were in Florida and so I want to keep going ahead full steam. Today we did not wear any diapers all day from the time he got up until the time he went to bed! Even for his nap I put him in underpants and a cover, but he went in the potty right before his nap and didn't have any accidents while napping.

He used the potty about 5-6 times, plus he had to go wee wee in a cup during his bath, it's too hard to get him out of the tub and onto the potty on time.

He had one accident in his pants today while he had on pants and underpants. I think he does much better without any pants on, but this is a bit difficult in some situations. :-) My Mom said that was the way she potty trained me, she put me in dresses with nothing underneath and I would always use the potty, but if I had on underpants I would go in them like a diaper. I think Tommy will be the same way. The problem is that I can't very well put him in dresses. He might be pretty enough, but if he lifted his dress, there would be some surprised people, wouldn't there? hahahha

He had to go poopy at one point tonight and kept telling me but then he would go into the bathroom and not be able to do it. I think he was really having a hard time with the poopy part. I also think he was holding it as long as he could until he would get a diaper on, but then he just couldn't hold it anymore. He told me he had to "go poopy in the potty" and we went to the bathroom but he wouldn't sit down. We repeated this a number of times and then finally he was shifting foot to foot and getting really agitated but he wouldn't sit down on the potty. Finally he stopped and I knew he was about to let loose so I positioned him over the toilet and he let it rip. At first he was really upset and kept saying, "mess, mess" thinking he had made a mess, but then I congratulated him and I was so happy and he seemed to get it that he had done a really good thing. We'll see how it goes tomorrow. For now I am SOOOOO encouraged!!! He's so smart and I'm so proud of him.

He is telling me consistently when he has to go potty and I think that may be the best sign of all.

He is also starting to count beyond 10. He is up to 14, I think.

I need to videotape him singing some of his songs. It is so incredibly adorable. He kills me.

Lately he has been extremely affectionate for some reason. He has been coming up to me a lot and asking for a "big hug". That kid has me so wrapped around his finger!!!!

Well, better run. Time is ticking.

Hope everyone is well.

Love,
Melissa