Financial Resolutions

Well, I guess I'll start with my usual laments. My job is frustrating - the worst is over and things are definitely improving, but mentally I think I'm just ready to move on to something a little more challenging - or maybe just something new and different. I don't know. I just have a general feeling of discontentment, sort of vague. I guess it's a kind of boredom.
What kind of person am I? I don't function well in a "normal life" - I get bored so quickly and easily. On the other hand, I didn't much enjoy the emotional drama/pain that went along with having a more "exciting" life. So what's a girl to do?
Well, first and foremost I need to make some dramatic changes where my financial discipline is concerned. I have learned one thing in my 33 years and that's that you don't get ANYWHERE when you live on the margin, paycheck to paycheck every month. I've been trying to make changes, but there is just too much month left over and then end of every paycheck haha. The thing is no matter how small an amount, you HAVE to put something in savings every month. I know that when we have a little extra $$, both Emmett and I have a tendency to relax a little bit and waste money. It's like this never-ending cycle of "oh my God we don't have enough money for gas and groceries" and then "whew, we have money again. NOW I can go out and buy for Tommy". That's the thing about having a child. It's natural to want to spoil them and give them everything. And then when I go to other parent's houses I look at all their stuff and it ends up being a "keeping up with the Jones's". I never thought I would be like that, but guess what? I am. But I think the thing that I realize is that providing Thomas with a financially stable home and having the money to send him to college is going to be much more beneficial than any stupid toy that I buy for him now that he plays with for 15 seconds and then throws away. The stress of living so close to the edge financially is so much more detrimental than the benefit of having a room full of toys right now. Especially right now when he doesn't have ANY concept of what other people have.
It's not that I spend an enormous amount of money on these things. I buy ALL of his clothes on EBay or at Salvation Army. Most of the toys I've bought for him I bought with gift certificates that were purchased for him or in secondhand stores. But even that adds up after a while. If I spend $30/month on second hand clothes, that's $30/month I could have been saving. If I find another $30/month to save, well, that's $60 and after 1 year that's $720. That $720 would have been wonderful to have right now when I took 10 days off work to go to Florida and am missing almost exactly that amount from my pay, which has resulted in my having to spend my Christmas money gifts buying presents for other people. Not that that's a total sacrifice, I mean, Christmas IS about giving, but I'd by lying if I said it wasn't a bummer that I'm not going to get anything cool under the tree to unwrap. Selfish, I know, but at least I'm honest.
The reality is that right now our income and expenses don't leave much room for mistakes so it's not like we're going to get a huge savings account tomorrow. But bit by bit if we put small amounts away every month, things WILL improve.
I just look at the people I know that are financially secure and they are so much more relaxed and happy about life. There is a worn, haggardness that goes along with the constant strain of worrying about money. I also look at those examples - I have friends who made nearly twice what we make and were living in a very small two bedroom house in an average neighborhood and paying about 25% less rent than we are. They saved a huge amount of money and now money is not a huge object for them.
I've been thinking a lot about moving and we would love to pay less rent than what we do ($2000 per month is just such an ENORMOUS amount of money going out every month, especially when you add in the $500-$800 that we have in childcare expenses). The thing is, though, that I've learned that I have to change the way that I look at money and my discipline where money is concerned before taking that step. Twice I've moved into a lesser-rent situation in order to save money and ended up peeing away all the extra money and ending up no better off than I was to start with.
We have gotten some information about possibly buying a house. There is program where we can buy a house right now and a nonprofit organization will purchase the home, make the down payment, pay closing costs and secure reasonable interest financing. We would then pay rent to the non-profit for up to 39 months while we clean up our credit so that we can qualify for that same mortgage at that same fixed rate. It sounds really awesome, but the payments would be really huge. To buy a home for $450K, which is not a whole lot of house out here, I have to say, is $3000 per month. That's way more than what we can afford right now. But it's definitely a consideration. At least by the time we had to send Thomas to school we would have the tax advantage and also some equity if we wanted to sell out. Something to think about.
Well, the shift is over. Time for sleeping!
Love,Melissa