My Beloved Blake aka "Bro"

It breaks my heart to even write these words, but last Sunday, August 12th, my beloved "Bro" died. Even as I start to accept this unbelievable loss, part of it doesn't seem real. It's so hard to explain how I felt about him...it was not so much like the brother I never had, but like a cousin and best friend rolled into one. I just cannot explain...Blake and I were like two peas in a pod, the two of us together were something entirely different than each of us separate...we could instigate each other into the craziest things and we would just bounce off the walls when we were together...even as kids (just ask my Grandma, we used to drive her NUTS!). As adults, we just went crazy in different ways, but he could make me feel so free when I was with him...and he could make me laugh like no one ever has or probably ever will again. When I moved to California and I was feeling down, I would call him and he would make me laugh so hard that somehow by the time I hung up, it wasn't so bad anymore. He was always there for me when I needed him. I just loved him so much. This post just doesn't do justice to the way I felt about him...I think that any eulogy barely does...they all end up sounding so trite and the same as every other one...but it's hard to put all the memories and emotions of a lifetime of love and friendship into a paragraph or a page...a full length book would maybe begin to give the picture of the integral part of me that is Blake. I will forever treasure our years of living together at the lake house and getting to know Finn as well, since Blake and John Finn were inseparable...we were like a terrible trio at times and I loved them both...so unbelievable that they are both gone now. Driving all night and talking, waverunning, partying, paintball guns, rollerblading, shopping, eating, dancing, teasing, swimming, and, above all else, laughing. Memory after memory of all the conversations we had, all the things we did...a lifetime of memories swimming around in my head. After I moved to California and became a Mom, our times together were milder and fewer...but there was just this unspoken love and acceptance and understanding that never went away. There are probably only 2 or 3 people in the world that understand me the way that Blake did and I can only hope that time will ease the bitter ache that I feel without him here anymore. Hey Bro...I love you and I miss you so much.