Memories of the past...and the friends who have left us

It's hard to believe that another year has come and gone. 2007 was such a huge year here in the Nolan household, both in great ways and yes, also in some bad ways.

I had a dream a couple of nights ago about Blake - again. Although it has been several months since his death, it is still so hard for me to accept the truth of it and the finality of it. I find myself going over and over our conversations over the last year and wishing I had been able to read him better...things he said that perhaps should have clued me in to how bad he was feeling - but then I just didn't have a frame of reference, no context in which to put his comments. That this could happen never occurred to me as a possibility, so there was never any way for me to make the leap from what he was saying to what was really going on in his mind. I think in some ways he wanted to reach out to me, but I was so far away and so busy with my own life and I don't think that he was willing to really put it out there the way that he was feeling. I tried many times to convince him to come for a visit, but there never seemed to be time or money to make that happen. Nothing can change what happened and I know that I can't take the blame for Blake's decisions, but it continues to be so hard to accept.

...oops out of time, guess I'll have to finish the trip down memory lane another time