Waffling and Woes

Well, this week hasn't been the greatest, but it sure could be a lot worse.
Money continues to be a huge stressor, I sure hope it gets better soon. I'm in the process of trying to decide what to about my job situation - I could go full-time at my current job, but I still feel like I'm not ready to not be without Tommy most of the time. Five eight hour days just seems like so much to me and I'm concerned the childcare costs will eat up whatever extra money comes in. I did call the L&D unit at the hospital and they are doing some hiring. That dept. works 12 hour shifts which means I would work a lot less days and have a lot more time to be at home with Tom (and, by extension, less child care costs). Please say a little prayer for me that that works out - I really think it would be a good thing for us. If it doesn't, I'm at least applying for other jobs - I'd like to at least see what is out there before I accept a full time position in my department. I know if I do accept it, I'm pretty much stuck for a whole year (that's the informal expected committment) so if I don't like it, I just have to be unhappy for that time. :-( Plus, I'm so spoiled by taking off time when I want to that I cannot imagine that I won't be able to take a day off for a full six months (until my probation is over)!!! arrgghhh

I did manage to get back to the gym today and it felt much better!! Probably because it was earlier in the day and I wasn't already worn out from working, but I felt like I did really well.

Emmett and I have decided to go into counseling. Not just one or two sessions and then quitting, but actually focusing on going at least twice a month (hopefully more like once a week at least initially) to a family counselor to help us try to work through some of the issues that keep cropping up and hopefully improve the way that we communicate with each other. I think that's as much of a problem for us as anything else.

Thomas is also a little bit sick and now I'm totally hyperparanoid about whether or not it's going to lead to an asthma attack. So far, so good this time. Say another little prayer, please. :-)

The best news all week was that I got a bonus at work! It wasn't much - about $325 after taxes, but right now when things are so tight after all the traveling and Thomas' birthday - it sure seems like a veritable windfall haha! Now at least we can keep the wolf at bay for a little bit longer. :-)

I think I sound more negative than I really feel because I'm pretty tired. It's after 2am and I have to be at work tomorrow by 8am, so I reallly better sign off now. I'm actually pretty relieved (feel blessed) by the mini-windfall, excited by my progress at the gym (although haven't had the courage to get on the scale yet), and very encouraged by Emmett and my committment to get into counseling. I think things must be on the upswing here, it's just a matter of keeping our eye on the prize, in this case our beautiful and perfect little boy and our family :-).

Love,
Melissa