Another Weekend Over

Hi,
Well, it's Monday again. Today I'm really sleepy because I'm still at work from the night shift. I didn't sleep well at all on Saturday night and felt really tired most of the day on Sunday. Last night I took a nap before work and was in such a dead sleep when the alarm went off at 11pm that I didn't even know where I was. It took me until almost 11:30 to get awake enough and oriented enough to get up and go to work. Anyway, it's been a long night and I can't wait to get home and get to bed. Before I sleep I need to fax over our application and cover letter for the house in Woodside. Pretty sure it's not going to happen, but it doesn't cost us anything to at least try (more on that later). I'm going to try to get up early today and start sorting through all Thomas's clothes and various household items and start auctioning everything off on Ebay. That's pretty much going to take the rest of the day.

Now to recap the weekend. It was an okay weekend, all things considered. After I wrote on Saturday I went upstairs to get Thomas up and spent a little bit of time with him before heading off to work at 11am. I got two pleasant surprises at work on Saturday - the first was that I was training someone, which meant that I didn't have to do all that much except watch over her and make sure she did everything right. The second pleasant part was that it was relatively slow. I came in prepared for the 12 shift from hell and instead had a pretty pleasant day. It was nice to have someone with me at the desk to chat with. It gets lonely working back there because no one really hangs out and chats all that much. A little over halfway through my shift I looked up and Thomas and Emmett were there! They had been playing at the Children's Park at Golden Gate Park and Emmett decided that I would enjoy getting to see Thomas for a few minutes before they went home (and also, truth be told, getting a chance to show off my baby boy to all my coworkers!). So we walked around for about 10 minutes and then I went back in to finish up my shift. It was absolutely amazing how much that picked me up and just made the rest of my night. I love both of those boys so much.

Emmett waited up for me Saturday night and we watched the end of Mystic River together and talked for a while. Neither of us slept very well Saturday night and we were both wide awake at 7am on Sunday. We got up and hung out for awhile reading and talking, it was very relaxing. Then Thomas got up and I spent some time with him in his room reading to him - he LOVES that! He goes and pulls a book off the shelf and hands it to me and says, "I read". Then he turns around and plunks himself down in my lap so that I can read to him. Since we stopped nursing it's hard to have any real cuddling time with Thomas. He's very affectionate with hugs and kisses, but always briefly and then he goes on with his usual busy-ness. But with reading I get to be so close to him, it's so wonderful to be able to have my baby in my arms while I read to him, very comforting for both of us, I think. Sometimes if I don't take the book from him right away he will grab my hand and put it on the edge of the book - it's so cute! He's so determined and learning how to be insistent about getting his wants and needs across. He's a good kid most of the time.

After that, Emmett made a big, yummy Sunday breakfast with eggs and hash brown, mmmmmmmm. He makes the best hashbrowns - he shreds the potatoes by hand - I hate that job because I always nick my fingers on the shredder, so it's a special treat when he makes them for me.

We had to put Thomas down for his nap early because we were leaving the house at 1:15 to go look at the house in Woodside before Nico's birthday party. While Tommy slept we hung out on the deck a little more - the weather was gorgeous! Sunny and warm! Wow!!

We got ready and ran out of the house for the appointment in such a hurry at the end that we both forgot major things. I forgot the wrapping for Nico's present. Emmett forgot that his car has a tendency to overheat in warm weather while driving uphill. We need to get that fixed, but he's been driving so little and such short distances in cool weather that it hasn't happened in a long time and I think we forget in between. We should have taken my car, but force of habit just made us take his. We ended up being a little bit late for our appointment because of having to stop before the car overheated.

The house was awesome!!

[ As I was originally writing this entry, my shift at work was over, I saved at this point as a draft and went home to finish it later. When I wrote the rest from home and tried to save and publish it it seemed that the second part got lost by the blog program and I needed to rewrite everything. So I did, only to discover that the first verion had NOT been lost after all. So - I decided to just include both writings. What follows here is both versions.]

PART TWO, VERSION ONE:

It was so much larger than the one we have now and the environment is so nice, so peaceful. [It reminds me of the lake house that way. The kind of place that you go home and just let the stresses of life fall a way, like your own personal sanctuary or oasis. Unfortunately, the timing isn't great and I think it's doubtful that we will move there, but it definitely motivated me to expand my housing searches. I'm also very encouraged that Emmett liked the house because he's such a city kid.

After the house we went to Nico's birthday party. The party was in Bol park in Palo Alto - a great place for a kids party. There was a herd of sheep (is herd the right word?) and some goats there which was cool for the kids, although I think a little intimidating for some of them. There was also a large play structure there that was a lot of fun for the kids. Zuz did some amazing decorative food items - palm trees from carrots and green peppers, a bowl of hummus made from squash in the shape of a dinosaur - and the most amazing cake in four or five parts, decorated with cookies and candy in the shape of a train. It was awesome and I was envious - I never knew Zuz was such a Martha Stewart! I'm always a little intimidated by Zuz's Mom friends, so I was really nervous, but it helped that Emmett went this year. He was very comforting. We didn't stay too long because we didn't really know anyone and I think Thomas is a little more, let's say exuberant, than the other kids, and also he was a little tired I think because of his short nap.

We got home and Emmett asked for an hour to himself to watch the baseball game and unwind a bit without having to watch Thomas, so I took Thomas upstairs, read to him for a while, and then caught up on some phone calls while he played with his toys. Emmett made dinner and we ate, put Thomas to bed, and then Emmett and I sat on the couch and listened to some music for a while together. We haven't done that in a long time and it was so relaxing. We went to bed early. Well, Emmett went to bed early and I took a nap before my night shift. The alarm went off at 11pm and I was so deep in sleep that I didn't know where I was or what the ?!? that noise was. I didn't get oriented until 11:30pm, yikes! It was a long night and I was sooooo tired! But now it's over and time to go home and get in bed!

Love,
Melissa

PART TWO, VERSION TWO:

It reminds me of the lake house. The kind of place where you can just relax and let go of the stresses of life, like your own personal sanctuay or oasis. We loved the place so much, but I think the timing is just not right, we're not ready for a big move like that right now. Besides which, there was someone else going through the house right after us that seemed to really hit it off right away with the landowner (I think he was teaching at Stanford), so we both kind of felt like we didn't have a chance. We will still apply, but neither of us feels very optimisitic. That's okay, because, as I said, it would be such a huge move to try to go from living in the city to way out there in such a short time without even mentally preparing.

After the house we went to Nico's birthday party. It was at Bol Park in Palo Alto, a great location for a child's party. I wasn't clear on whether the goats and sheep that were there were part of the park or whether Zuz and Bryan had actually hired them, but it was fun for the kids to see these animals. Thomas thought the big sheep was a lion, and I heard another child make the same mistake. It was funny - they are at an age where they are starting to look at books and learn things, but sometimes seeing them in real life is confusing and seems to be kind of hard to assimilate. Two is such an amazing age because the language and communication is just starting to come together, putting labels on objects and being able to recognize things.

There was also a big play structure right next to Zuz's picnic spot, the kids really enjoyed that. It was great that Emmett came with us this time. I'm always intimidated by Zuz's friends and I was so nervous. This year was even harder than last year because this year Thomas is so much more interactive and yet he is very different from the other children there, much more high energy and more exuberant, like his parents, I'd say. Emmett and I both wondered later on if that's nature or nurture. One of the little girls was afraid of Thomas because of his energy and impulsivenes, which made me feel really bad and a bit uncomfortable. (I know that he needs to keep some of that impulsiveness in check and control the impulses, but he's so little still). I look at the other kids and wonder if this is a bad thing or a good thing. One cannot argue that these parents have achieved greater success than Emmett and I have, at least in terms of education and financial security. But still there is a part of me that delights in Thomas's energy and enthusiasm. I don't know, and I guess that wondering sort of made me feel bad inside, and afraid that I'm encouraging him to have what I perceive as joie de vivre when this may distract him and thus prevent him from achieving more financial stability and educational goals than he would if he were more like these children. Also, one cannot argue that Thomas was a bit behind these kids in language development. I don't know what their exact ages were, but all the children seemed to be able to count to 5 or 6 and Thomas is nowhere near that yet. It wasn't a dramatic difference, but again, enough to make me feel a little bit bad and a little bit uncomfortable. Emmett was great at comforting and believes strongly that Thomas will be fine, I guess I worry too much. Nothing has ever mattered to me as much as doing the right thing for Thomas and so I'm terrified that I'm not going to do the right thing. It doesn't help that I haven't achieved what I'd hoped for myself in this life, so that makes me feel right away that we are operating at a deficit.

We didn't stay too long at the party, we were all sort of tired and drained. We came home and Emmett asked for a little time to himself, so I took Thomas upstairs and read to him for a while, then caught up on some phone calls while he played with his toys. Emmett made dinner, we ate, and then both put Thomas to sleep. Afterward Emmett and I put on some Kate Wolf music and sat on together quietly on the couch and listened for awhile. It was so comforting and relaxing and peaceful. We went to bed early. Well, Emmett went to bed early and I took a nap before my night shift. When the alarm went off at 11pm, I was so disoriented that I had no idea where I was or WHAT that noise was! It took me a half hour to get oriented I was so deep in sleep, but I did eventually get up and get to work. It was a long night and I was soooo sleepy, but it's finally over and now I'm going to head off to bed!

Good night,
Melissa